March 20

Through My Eyes

Saturday March 20

(We continue to listen to the Dalai Lama as he describes return and his encounters with the Chinese.)

" This was the last time that I saw Tathag Rinpoche alive. At our final meeting, he asked me not to feel bad about the prohibitions he had forced on me as a child. I felt very moved that such an old and venerable teacher should want to say this to me. Of course, I understood.

I arrived back in Lhasa in the middle of August, after a nine month absence. There was a big reception in my honour. It looked as if the entire population had turned out to see me and demonstrate its happiness at my return. I was deeply moved and, at the same time, extremely glad to be home. Only I knew full well that there had been many changes since the previous winter, that nothing was quite the same. It seemed that my people had similar feelings as, although they were full of joy, there was a note of hysteria in their enthusiasm. In the time that I had been away, reports had begun to reach the capital telling of the atrocities against Tibetans in Amdo and Kham. Naturally, people were very much afraid of the future, although I knew that some felt everything would be all right now that I was home.

On a personal level, I discovered to my great sadness that my favourite sweeper, Norbu Thondup, had died earlier in the year- the one who had been by far my most enthusiastic playmate. Throughout my childhood, this man had been a devoted friend and a constant source of fun. When I was small, he frightened me by pulling hideous faces; when I grew older, he joined me in my roughest games. We often came to blows during my mock battles and I remember being quite vicious towards him at times, even to the point of drawing blood with the swords of my lead soldiers when he caught me up in his arms during our playful skirmishes. But he always gave as good as he got and never for a moment lost his sense of humour. Now, of course, there was nothing I could do for him, although I was able to be of some service to his children, a son and a daughter. As a Buddhist, I knew that there was not much use in grieving. Yet at the same time I realised that in a way Norbu Thondup's death symbolised the end of my childhood. There could be no going back. In a few days' time, I was due to meet the Chinese delegation again. I must do for my people whatever I could, no matter how little, ever mindful that the peaceful pursuit of religion is one of the most important things in life. And I was just sixteen years old.

I received General Chiang Chin-wu at the headquarters of my bodyguard, in accordance with tradition. This put him in a ferocious temper and he demanded to know why I was meeting him here and not in a more informal place. He was not a foreigner, he insisted, and did not wish to be treated as one. The fact that he could not speak Tibetan was apparently lost on him. At first I was taken aback at the sight of his bulging eyes and vermilion cheeks as he sputtered and stammered, banging the table with his fist. I subsequently discovered that the General was frequently given to outbursts of temper like this. Meanwhile, I reminded myself that he was probably a good person underneath-which, in fact, he turned out to be, and quite straightforward too.

As for his expressions of anger, I soon discovered these outbursts to be quite usual amongst the Chinese. I think it is because of this that they are treated so reverentially by some people, particularly by Europeans and Americans who tend to control their emotions more thoroughly. Fortunately, my religious training helped me to keep a perspective on his behaviour: I could see that in some ways it is quite good to express anger like this. Although not always appropriate, it is usually better than pretending to be gentle and hiding resentment.

Fortunately, I did not have to deal with Chiang on a very frequent basis. I met with him perhaps once a month during the first year or two of the Chinese occupation. It was Lukhangwa, Lobsang Tashi and the members of the Kashag who saw him most and they quickly learned to dislike his behaviour. They told me that he was arrogant, high-handed and without any sympathy for our different approach to life. Whenever we did meet, I saw for myself how he and his countrymen offended Tibetans at every turn."

( I don't know if the General could be considered straightforward given what his army was doing elsewhere in Tibet at that time! I promise to add more tomorrow...)

*( please click here to read of the day with me )

* This is from the book Freedom in Exile The Autobiography of the Dalai Lama by Tenzin Gyatso, the fourteenth

Dalai Lama of Tibet.

Through my eyes

( Please see my spinning for you!)

( Tahshi Deleh gentle one! Kehrahng kusu debo yinpeh? I worked in our studio on your loom and on our a land of Tibet. That and sleeping; I was a bit sick from some bug or something. I did get outside a bit to wander about and take some pictures though. We'll be working up in the Grove again soon! I'm going to put the pages onto our infosite; I'll put this up a bit early so we can rest.

And so, as always we'll continue two as one on to tomorrow

my one gentle beautiful patient swift dream bright

long dark mane in sunlight

so for now I bid goodnight...Simjah Nahngo!)


	Through My Eyes Saturday March 20 (We continue to listen to the Dalai Lama as he describes return and his encounters with the Chinese.) " This was the last time that I saw Tathag Rinpoche alive. At our final meeting, he asked me not to feel bad about the prohibitions he had forced on me as a child. I felt very moved that such an old and venerable teacher should want to say this to me. Of course, I understood. I arrived back in Lhasa in the middle of August, after a nine month absence. There was a big reception in my honour. It looked as if the entire population had turned out to see me and demonstrate its happiness at my return. I was deeply moved and, at the same time, extremely glad to be home. Only I knew full well that there had been many changes since the previous winter, that nothing was quite the same. It seemed that my people had similar feelings as, although they were full of joy, there was a note of hysteria in their enthusiasm. In the time that I had been away, reports had begun to reach the capital telling of the atrocities against Tibetans in Amdo and Kham. Naturally, people were very much afraid of the future, although I knew that some felt everything would be all right now that I was home. On a personal level, I discovered to my great sadness that my favourite sweeper, Norbu Thondup, had died earlier in the year- the one who had been by far my most enthusiastic playmate. Throughout my childhood, this man had been a devoted friend and a constant source of fun. When I was small, he frightened me by pulling hideous faces; when I grew older, he joined me in my roughest games. We often came to blows during my mock battles and I remember being quite vicious towards him at times, even to the point of drawing blood with the swords of my lead soldiers when he caught me up in his arms during our playful skirmishes. But he always gave as good as he got and never for a moment lost his sense of humour. Now, of course, there was nothing I could do for him, although I was able to be of some service to his children, a son and a daughter. As a Buddhist, I knew that there was not much use in grieving. Yet at the same time I realised that in a way Norbu Thondup's death symbolised the end of my childhood. There could be no going back. In a few days' time, I was due to meet the Chinese delegation again. I must do for my people whatever I could, no matter how little, ever mindful that the peaceful pursuit of religion is one of the most important things in life. And I was just sixteen years old. I received General Chiang Chin-wu at the headquarters of my bodyguard, in accordance with tradition. This put him in a ferocious temper and he demanded to know why I was meeting him here and not in a more informal place. He was not a foreigner, he insisted, and did not wish to be treated as one. The fact that he could not speak Tibetan was apparently lost on him. At first I was taken aback at the sight of his bulging eyes and vermilion cheeks as he sputtered and stammered, banging the table with his fist. I subsequently discovered that the General was frequently given to outbursts of temper like this. Meanwhile, I reminded myself that he was probably a good person underneath-which, in fact, he turned out to be, and quite straightforward too. As for his expressions of anger, I soon discovered these outbursts to be quite usual amongst the Chinese. I think it is because of this that they are treated so reverentially by some people, particularly by Europeans and Americans who tend to control their emotions more thoroughly. Fortunately, my religious training helped me to keep a perspective on his behaviour: I could see that in some ways it is quite good to express anger like this. Although not always appropriate, it is usually better than pretending to be gentle and hiding resentment. Fortunately, I did not have to deal with Chiang on a very frequent basis. I met with him perhaps once a month during the first year or two of the Chinese occupation. It was Lukhangwa, Lobsang Tashi and the members of the Kashag who saw him most and they quickly learned to dislike his behaviour. They told me that he was arrogant, high-handed and without any sympathy for our different approach to life. Whenever we did meet, I saw for myself how he and his countrymen offended Tibetans at every turn." ( I don't know if the General could be considered straightforward given what his army was doing elsewhere in Tibet at that time! I promise to add more tomorrow...) ( please click here to read of the day with me ) This is from the book Freedom in Exile The Autobiography of the Dalai Lama by Tenzin Gyatso, the fourteenth Dalai Lama of Tibet. Through my eyes ( Please see my spinning for you!) ( Tahshi Deleh gentle one! Kehrahng kusu debo yinpeh? I worked in our studio on your loom and on our a land of Tibet. That and sleeping; I was a bit sick from some bug or something. I did get outside a bit to wander about and take some pictures though. We'll be working up in the Grove again soon! I'm going to put the pages onto our infosite; I'll put this up a bit early so we can rest. And so, as always we'll continue two as one on to tomorrow my one gentle beautiful patient swift dream bright long dark mane in sunlight so for now I bid goodnight...Simjah Nahngo!)